TANNER PICKS THE OSCARS

Last year Tanner proved to be a wiz at handicapping the Oscars; albeit his method was sketchy, he tabbed the Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor nods, along with a slew of other winners. Given his track record, Eugenie and I decided to let him offer his thoughts on this year’s races.

Tanner & Lou on State Street, Santa Barbara, 2/18/13

In the Best Picture category, we didn’t see three of the nominees – Beasts of The Southern Wild, Django Unchained and Life of Pi (Lou’s fault since Eugenie and I were bugging him to get the screeners).  Of the other six, Les Miz was overly long with uneven singing and a plot that jumps from a riveting ‘A’ story (Jean Valjean v Javert) to sappy, with the love at first sight between Marius (a rich frat boy slumming as a revolutionary) and Cosette. It’s a bit of a downer, but nothing compared to Amour, which made me want to run into traffic (Remember, I’m a dog and seppuku isn’t an option). We all found it sheer torture and it left us wondering how in the heck these two snooze fests get nominated when the bubbly, brilliant Intouchables came away with bubkes. But I digress. 


Lincoln was well done, with great acting boosting what is basically a lengthy documentary. Our friend, Joe Simone, rightly said it should have ended 15 minutes earlier, before the assassination, while David P, a director pal, said it l was shot with all those profiles so we would marvel at Daniel Day Lewis’s resemblance to Abe. Zero Dark Thirty (much like Hurt Locker, the 2009 winner) features a documentary story with a frosty protagonist that’s hard to warm up to. Her growth during the picture is nil. That leaves us with Silver Linings Playbook and Argo. Mom loved the former, second only to Intouchables in her year’s best. Dad said the first 30 minutes were a bit muddled but, after that, it was quite good. We all agree that Jennifer Lawrence is amazing, perhaps a new Meryl Streep in the making, and that she will take Best Actress. Eugenie liked Argo while dad liked it much better; then again, he’s a political type. It’s a tough call but I’m rolling with mom on this one. 

In the acting categories, it’s Daniel Day Lewis for Lincoln, Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings, Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Master (no, I didn’t see that one either and probably never will because, with the exception of Boogie Nights, Lou doesn’t care for the director’s work). Finally, the under-rated David O. Russell upsets Steven Spielberg for Best Director. Overall, last year’s movies were far superior, not coincidentally, because they featured canine stars.
                                                                        ~~~~
Porter update: Although he’s still fighting an infection and some post-op soreness, the tough little puppy is doing much better.

PUPPY BOWL (RUNNING WITH THE BIG DOGS)

Lou was busy shouting and eating with his pals and so we had to catch the Puppy Bowl after the Super Bowl, which wasn’t all that super until the last quarter. If you ask me (and my doggie friends) watching all those wiggly puppies crashing about was a zillion times better. Anyway, if you missed it, just hit the link above and check it out.

Speaking of adorable pups, you know that expression, “If you can’t run with the Big Dogs, stay on the porch”? Well, here’s a short video of a stout-hearted baby Pit Bull out to show that he belongs with the big boys.  Enjoy.

Book Update: We’ve finished all the corrections on the paperback edition of GIMME SHELTER which should be available on Amazon within the week. Be sure to get one.

GIMME SHELTER Goes Live

Thanks to a loving nudge from Eugenie, this past Friday, January 25, I read an except from GIMME SHELTER at Bank Of Books, our newest local bookstore.  The manager, Ann Lambert-Vannoy Benoit and her daughter,  Krystyn Lambert, host monthly ‘author’ and ‘poetry’ nights, where local scribes get to read from their works or their favorite authors. The large, receptive crowd, included several friends and neighbors who’d come to lend their support.  Hopefully, this was just a preview of things to come.  My thanks to them, and to Eugenie and Tanner for making the evening possible.

For a great description of the scene at this welcome new addition to the community, check out the recent post by our friend and Malibu Times contributor, Alexis Deutsch-Adler.

@Bank of Books, Malibu, January 25, 2013

For anyone who’s thinking about following my lead and self-publishing, e-book or hard copy, I have two words: Kathryn Galan of WynnPix Productions. I was totally clueless about formatting, cover design and a zillion other details that left my head spinning until Kathryn stepped in. 
A writer, editor and former film executive, in a few short days, she had my manuscript formatted, designed and ready for publication.  Even better, she scoured my book, offering thoughtful edits that preserved my voice while improving the rhythm and flow of my prose.  She is nothing short of amazing and made a daunting process look like child’s play.

A MAJOR SCORE FOR TANNER

After a long week spent building a website, dabbling with FaceBook and tweaking proofs for the paperback edition of GIMME SHELTER, Eugenie, Tanner and I had an awesome playdate with our friends, Robby and John, and their ‘kids’, Lola and Porter. While the dogs ran roughshod all over the property, we humans shared a bottle of wine and and the local news. Like every visit, much of the dog time was spent tussling over toys. When we were leaving, Robby and John surprised Tanner with a slew of rubber toys – hotdogs, birds, truck tires – that her dogs so nicely agreed to share. Poor Tanner was crazed, longing to get at his new ‘babies’ and wondering why we would make him leave the coolest place on earth. Eugenie and I vowed to stash the toys and not to break them out until he’d trashed his newest ones, which were less than a week old. Hah! Barely an hour after we’d returned home, Tanner was splayed out on the living room floor, munching on a a slime-covered ice cream cone.

Tanner & Lola

GIMME SHELTER – Available on Amazon.com

Tanner and I had planned on adding a ‘New Year’s’ post but thanks to my friend and neighbor, Kathryn Galan (Luna’s ‘mom’), we spent the first two weeks of 2013 formatting and publishing GIMME SHELTER for the Kindle store on Amazon.com, where it is now available for all Kindle devices, iPad, iPhone and Mac and PC computers. We are very, very, very jazzed and eternally grateful to Kathryn for making this happen. To order GIMME SHELTER now, just click the “10%” link below the cover photo.

10% of the profits from this book will be donated to animal rescue causes

We’ll detail the publishing process as soon as we recover but, for now, here’s all you need to know to get the book.  First, if you don’t have one (hard to imagine since it seems like we shop there daily) create an Amazon account. Then go to Amazon’s Kindle store or just type in GIMME SHELTER or my name, Louis Spirito, and you’ll be directed to the book.

If you don’t have a Kindle or iPad/iPhone, you can download a free Kindle program and read it on your laptop or desktop computer, like I did.  To get the program, click either Mac or PC and you will be taken Amazon, where they will tell you how to download the program.  Installation is very easy.


Tanner, Eugenie and I would like to thank all of our family and friends for the ongoing support, and we look forward to having GIMME SHELTER spread the word that rescue dogs, and Pit Bulls in particular, can make wonderful, loving companions.

FLORENCE NIGHTINGBULL

After a bizarrely hot summer, things were just getting back to normal in our house when Tanner, and his 2-legged daddy, were thrown another curve.  Back in August I had undergone outpatient surgery.  The procedure was minor but the bill, as anyone who’s been there knows, wasn’t quite so trivial.  Having covered my insurance deductible, I decided to see a specialist about my achy left hip.  I knew there was some wear and tear (thirty years of marital arts will do that) but I was stunned to learn that the cartilage was gone, leaving me with bone on bone.  Since the condition and pain would only worsen, Eugenie and I decided I should have it fixed asap.

On October 4th, we drove to St. John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, where Dr. Andrew Yun and his team worked their magic performing a minimally invasive surgery that left me with a matched set of bionic joints (the right hip was replaced in 2006).  A mere thirty hours later, I was back home in bed.  While I could stand, shuffle a bit and even climb our four flights of stairs, albeit with great difficulty and some pain, walking Tanner was out of the question, and so Eugenie stepped into the breach.

First thing each morning, she got me out of bed, tugged on my TED socks and shoes, and got me moving.  Then hit the road with Tanner, who was sorely miffed that she didn’t know, or didn’t care about our routine, which included a long stroll on the grounds of the church next door. Back at the house, Eugenie focussed on getting us fed and making sure I did my walking and PT, leaving no time for morning ‘play’.  Tanner was forlorn and confused.  “Why was dad acting so strangely, and why was he neglecting me?  And what was he doing walking with that scary black stick?”

At first, the painkillers made me queasy and just eating breakfast left me exhausted.  About the only thing I could manage was lying in bed, blowing through the detective novels (Daniel Silva’s ‘Rembrandt Affair’, Michael Connelly’s ‘Echo Park’) I had stacked up like planes at LAX.  Tanner seemed perplexed to see me horizontal (It’s rare I even nap) but that didn’t deter him.  If dad couldn’t or wouldn’t fuss with him, he would fuss with dad.  Ignoring a mound of pillows, and the cords from the portable ice machine, he popped up onto the bed and nestled up against my ailing left leg.

The patient, with ‘Florence Nightinbull’

It went on that way for a week, until I finally recaptured my chi and abandoned the bed for the upstairs recliner.  Once I quit our Tempurpedic, Tanner returned to his own bed where he could keep a watchful I on me.  When I made a run to the kitchen for ginger ale or Gatorade, he shadowed me. If I mummy-stepped my way upstairs to the bathroom, he tagged along and flopped down on the rug until I made the trek back down.  When I joined Eugenie and him on the afternoon walk, he slowed his pace out of respect for his gimpy owner.  Around the 2-week mark, I finally shed my cane and a few days later I took the reins for our morning walk, as if nothing unusual had taken place.  Tanner’s brief nursing career was over.

Although he’s quit nursing for the time being, Tanner stills wants to be of service to his fellow creatures, both the 2-legged and 4-legged sort.  That’s why he said to mention our dear friend, M.C. Callahan, a terrific ballroom dance instructor, who generously devotes her free hours to two animal charities in the Coachella Valley where she lives.  Healing Horses in Indio, CA offers equine therapy to improve the lives of special needs children.  Located in Desert Hot Springs, Save-A-Pet offers food and shelter to dogs in need.  It’s an outdoor facility so, with the cool desert winters nights coming, they need donations of old towels, sheets, and blankets.  So clean out those closets and put your old and unused items to a good use.

SUMMERTIME BLUES (Goin’ To The Chapel)

When Tanner & I penned our last entry, Summer was in full bloom and we were bracing for an invasion of Spirito relatives that were about to descend on Calif for our niece’s, Margaret’s, wedding.  As it is most years, the weather was sunny and cool so I phoned my brother and sisters and told them to pack accordingly; this wasn’t New Jersey with it’s scorching temperatures and brutal humidity.  Hah.  Mere days before their arrival a heatwave hit, bringing unseasonably high temps and tropical moisture.  My sibs were miffed and poor Tanner, who hates the heat the way most people hate taxes, was drained.  He lazed around panting and huffing like he was circling the drain.  


Bad enough that the ‘monsoonal’ flow (whatever the heck that is) wrought havoc on our routine, forcing us to cut short morning walks and to skip our dog park play dates.  With the heat came an onslaught of ravenous fleas that feasted on Tanner’s delectable pink belly and rump.  Every morning Eugenie and I would decimate the little buggers only to have them return in greater numbers the next day.  Frontline, borate powder, flea shampoo – nothing stemmed the insatiable horde.  

As often happens with Pit Bulls, the bites led to a nasty case  of folliculitis, and a three-week round of Keflex.  At first, getting Tanner to take the pills was a snap.  We’d wrap them in a piece of cheese, and down they’d go.  Somewhere around day 3, he sussed out our ruse, and so we moved on to turkey, deli ham and Prosciutto di Parma.  For the briefest moment, I thought about trying to force-feed the pills to him.  Then I thought about his timid nature (and his shark jaws) and decided to spring for rare roast beef.  The bloody meat did the trick, and the bumps disappeared.  To prevent another attack, we blasted the house with diatomaceous earth.  The cleanup was messy, but the fleas have cleared out.
                                                                       ~ ~ ~
One month later and the heat has finally begun to ease.  Football dominates the sports pages, crowds are enjoying one last beach hurrah, and we’re celebrating Labor Day working like dogs, that is, doing nothing in particular.  Despite the heat and my sister’s emergency root canal, the wedding was a huge success, as Margaret and Ryan pledged their love surrounded by their dearest and dearest.  Eugenie and I gladly played host to family I hadn’t seen in years, and Tanner got to meet and charm a host of two-legged ‘uncles’, ‘aunts’, and ‘cousins’, all of whom fell madly in love with him.  Natch.  We’ll do it all again 4 months from now, when we fly to NJ for a second niece’s (Margaret’s sister, Kristina) nuptials.  If the cool weather holds, we’ll resumed our long morning jaunts and our doggie play dates with Kona, Luna, Dexter and Charlie.   Fingers crossed.
                                                                       ~ ~ ~
I wanted to share a photo from my oldest sister, Honey, a Lieutenant with the Hudson County (NJ) Prosecutor’s Office.  A lifelong dog lover, she’s had a slew of big, feisty pups.  The current roster includes ‘Aldo’ a 100-pound hurricane refugee, and Harley, a Rottweiler rescue (her 4th Rottie).

PIT BULLS IN THE NEWS

Spent the morning cuddling with Tanner who was lucky to make it out of the shelter after spending seven weeks on death row.  We left him resting in his bed and made our weekly stop at the Malibu Farmer’s Market, where dogs are not allowed.  There was a pet adoption adjacent to the market and about half the dogs were Pits, no surprise there.  One was ‘Benny’, a beautiful white boy who was also deaf.  Dogs like him usually do well in homes where another dog can act as their ears and get them to follow commands.  There were two Pit pups, a blue fawn with the same tan and white markings as Tanner, and a cute brindle.  We have a friend will who says she wants a dog like ours and so we’re hoping that she might adopt one of them.  If you know anyone who might have room for a ‘ferocious’  bundle of love and kisses, contact The Forgotten Dog Foundation at 310.990-2020, info@theforgottendog.org, or check them out online at www.theforgottendog.org.

In other Pit Bull news, the Maryland state legislature recently passed a law declaring that all Pit Bulls are inherently dangerous:
Tracey v. Solesky, No. 53, September Term 2012, Opinion by Cathell, J.
STRICT LIABILITY ADOPTED IN RESPECT TO ATTACKS ON HUMANS BY PIT BULL DOGS AND CROSS-BRED PIT BULL DOGS.
Upon a plaintiff’s sufficient proof that a dog involved in an attack is a pit bull or a pit bull cross, and that the owner, or other person(s) who has the right to control the pit bull’s presence on the subject premises (including a landlord who has a right to prohibit such dogs on leased premises) knows, or has reason to know, that the dog is a pit bull or cross-bred pit bull, that person is liable for the damages caused to a plaintiff who is attacked by the dog on or from the owner’s or lessor’s premises. In that case a plaintiff has established a prima facie case of negligence. When an attack involves pit bulls, it is no longer necessary to prove that the particular pit bull or pit bulls are dangerous.
In practical terms, the law means that in any incident involving a Pit Bull, the owner or a or a landlord who rents to the owner of a Pit Bull will automatically be guilty of owning or harboring a ‘dangerous’ dog, exposing those people to legal liability.  In all likelihood, it will making adoption of Pit Bulls much more difficult, leading to more euthanized dogs.  If this rankles you (Imagine a law that said, owing to the nature of the Mafia, all Italians are inherently criminal), contact the Maryland State legislators and tell them to reconsider their prejudicial, misguided law.
The Writer and ‘inherently dangerous’ Tanner

Sadly, Maryland doesn’t have a monopoly on stupidity and Pit Bull-phobia.  After a 2-year battle, Lennox the Pit Bull was euthanized because of his genetic makeup as a banned breed.  http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/world_now/2012/07/lennox-the-dog-is-put-to-death-in-northern-ireland.html  One way to end the senseless slaughter of unwanted dogs is to eliminate puppy mills.  If you would like to help, you can voice your opposition by signing a petition to encourage the USDA to crack down on them. 

JUNE GLOOM (AWOL From The Dog Park)

Dudley and Blanche

Ever since his 4-year anniversary, Tanner and his humans have been busy with a host of projects, including finding a home for GIMME SHELTER. The journey continues and we hope to have an agent in place by Eugenie’s birthday (June 21). In addition to tweaking the book, crafting a proposal and starting a rewrite on my play, “All That He Could Be” (the true story of the only solider to successfully challenge the ban on gays in the U.S. Military – a black drag queen!),  I’ve been I’ve been teaching at Probation and Eugenie has been carving like a mad woman. She’s submitting to several galleries and competitions and applying for grants as well.  On top of that, we took a quick trip to Palm Springs to visit Eugenie’s mom, for Mother’s Day. It was 100+ and Melissa’s AC was out!  Thankfully, our friends Toni, Ron and Alana let us stay at their place in Palm Desert. Tanner dislikes the heat and long drives but he bore up surprisingly well.  On a sad note, Melissa’s beloved Pug, Dudley passed away recently, a few months shy of his 15th b-day. Dud was a funny, mischievous little imp who trained his owner to do his bidding. For most of his life, he spent the summers with us when things got too warm in the Desert, so we’ll miss him terribly, too.


‘Make-Up’ cuddles

In addition to work and travel, we’ve been fixing up the house in anticipation of our niece Margaret’s wedding two months from now, when all of the Spirito famiglia will descend on SoCal, many for their first visit since we moved here in 1991. We can’t have them thinking we live in a slum, albeit one with palm trees and an ocean view (if you stand on your toes in the upstairs loft). Like his grumpy ‘father (and our late cat, Blanche) Tanner HATES changes to his environment or routine. Sprucing up the master bath fits that label, and he’s been on edge the entire time.  It doesn’t help that we’ve been AWOL at the dog park lately so Poor Tanner has had to make do with local play dates, extra treats and cuddles in bed.


As it too often does, the ‘June Gloom’ has settled in bringing overcast skies and chilly (by California standards) temperatures. Tanner likes it cool but not foggy, and he detests the rain. I like it warm and sunny, so I’m bummed. 
                                                                                               ~  ~  ~
“Our first year here it rained all spring and the lousy weather lasted well into fall.  Like a kid who’d been promised a trip to Disneyland but forced to settle for a T-shirt, I felt gypped. And ill. Before we quit New York, Eugenie’s mom graciously supervised the fix-up on our Malibu rental. Under her decorator’s eye, the place was painted top to bottom, the floors and furniture refinished, and new carpeting installed. The work took all of February.  During that time it rained so fiercely that she kept the doors and windows shut tight, allowing the petrochemical fumes to reach critical mass. When we boarded the plane that would take us to the Left Coast, we had no idea that we’d be moving into a toxic time bomb. Shortly after we arrived my head began to pound. I was green, listless, and in constant agony.  I tried aspirin, massage, and meditation. Nothing could blunt the pain. Either I was dying, or I was allergic to California. I agreed to give it one more week; then I was flying back to New York where I’d stay until I recovered. In desperation, Eugenie took me to see a homeopath who diagnosed me with chemical poisoning. I scoffed, but I took the little sugar pills and the headaches went away.” (from “Gimme Shelter: A Damaged Pit Bull, an Angry Man and How They Saved Each Other”).
                                                                                              ~  ~  ~
Right now Tanner is crashed out on his bed, taking advantage of a lull in the hammering and sawing to catch up on his sleep. He’d better since we’re off to Fashion Island in Costa Mesa tomorrow to visit with Eugenie’s godfather, Gene, and his wife, Jennifer. There will be tons of Yorkies, Shih Tzus  and other pocket pooches at the mall so Tanner will makes lots of new ‘friends’ and probably scare a few uptight O.C. residents.

RESCUE DOG…RESCUE KIDS

Tanner and I apologize from the recent inactivity but I’ve been busy with a different kind of ‘rescue’ program.  

Back around the time Tanner came to stay with us, I started thinking that I might want to combine my two very different skill sets, writing and martial arts, to help ‘at risk’ kids.  I wasn’t sure if I still had the patience and energy required so I decided to take a trial run, substitute teaching at the L.A. County Juvenile Probation schools here in Malibu.  It took several months to get my certification and paperwork in order (back in the last century, I taught English before leaving to become an actor).  There were tests to take, forms to complete, interviews, orientations, fingerprinting – you would have thought I was applying for CIA clearance.  

After all the hoopla, I started in March, right around the time we started looking for a rescue dog three years earlier. The first couple days were interesting.  The ‘kids’ – all juvie offenders who’ve committed assorted crimes, some serious, some minor – felt they had to test me, just like we did with high school subs.  Nothing personal.  They were high energy and noisy but I never felt threatened.  Now that they’ve gotten to know me, and I them, I’m enjoying our time together.  Just like shelter dogs (I love dogs so this is a compliment), many of them are desperate for genuine affection and interest, and any special perks, like candy or magazines, they think they can wheedle out of you.

I’m not sure I’m up for a full-time job (45 kids of varying abilities and backgrounds, working on 6-7 subjects!) but I’m thinking of proposing an after school Tai Chi program.  I’ve also spoken to our good friend and superb dog trainer Tony Rollins, about starting a program where they can help train shelter dogs for adoption.  

In the middle of all this, I was busy reworking GIMME Shelter for submission to agents.  Now that the manuscript is done (for the moment), I’ll be back blogging and devoting myself to Tanner, who just celebrated his 3rd ‘anniversary’ with us.  He recently had a systemic bacterial infection that was causing skin rashes and lethargy but Dr. Lisa gave us a prescription and some ointment and now the big guy’s fine and friskier than ever.

Tanner on the Colony Beach